Monday Motivator

"The best years of your life are the ones in which you decide your problems are your own. You do not blame them on your mother, the ecology, or the president. You realize that you control your own destiny." - Albert Ellis

It has taken me a long time to learn this, as I'd like to think it does with everyone. If you are not happy with the way your life is going, do something about it. Choose a new career path, start working out, volunteer for a local charity. I do realize there are people in this world with challenges they have no control over. But if the challenges in your life are ultimately by choice - change it. You have the power to better yourself and your life.

Girl Power of Olympic Proportions

I have been keeping a close eye on the 2012 Olympics, not just because of Nathan Adrian, but because of all the incredibly talented female athletes who are competing in the games. Watching Kerri Lee Walsh Jennings and Misty May-Treanor tear it up on the volleyball court or Allyson Felix gun it in the 200m is nothing short of inspiring*. But here is my problem: not all women agree with me on this. I’m not one to pout when I don’t get my way (OK, sometimes I do, but that’s usually involving my family or boyfriend), I just don’t understand why so many average non-Olympic females have become catty about this year's female athletes. In the Self article, Why Focus on Olympians’ Looks Misses the Point, Robyn Silverman, Ph.D., a body image expert and author discusses why women do this. She says "there is a tendency to want to cut people down… We try to cut them down to make them more like us.”

But ladies, COME ON. These women workout 6 days a week for hours at a time to be on top of their game – they have made this their lives for the past 4+ YEARS. We should be focusing on their overall performance, not their appearance. This cattiness may be the cause for the lack of female athlete endorsements, as well. A University of Delaware article discusses a study conducted in which “Ads that focused on athletes’ attractiveness often elicited negative responses from female participants.” Are we that intimidated by women who are at the top of their physical level? If I had a daughter, I would much rather she look up to Kerri Lee and Misty May than Kim Kardashian.

And yes, I will be the first to admit that I have days when I feel physically inadequate. But I go for a run and feel better because I DO WHAT I CAN. We need to keep in mind that if we work hard, we can reach our ideal fitness levels. And above all, we need to stop comparing ourselves to other women. "The only person you'll ever have to be better than is the person you were yesterday." I spent a few minutes looking up who said this (to no avail), because it is so true. It's true for all of us.

*Note: I wrote those post before I knew all three women had received gold medals for their performances, as I've been avoiding Olympic outcomes until I can watch the games at night. BOOM.

Every man needs a Molly. Every girl needs a Kate.

That's right. I just referenced a Say Anything song in a blog post. That's how hard I rock. This post isn't about Say Anything, however. This post is about having someone who helps you stay on track and realize/achieve your goals. This post is about Kate.

My friend Kate and I try to meet up once a month. I realize how pathetic our goal of meeting up so seldom is, but it's a goal. And it's our goal. During that time we devote hours catching up and discussing our lives. Our topics range from work to our latest Pinterest findings - please, don't hate - and anything in between.

I really appreciate the time I have with Kate because not only is she a fabulous friend, she is also a tremendous mentor. And though I'm sure me telling her this would make her face as red as her hair, I'm drop dead serious.

Kate has been a tremendous outlet for expressing my life and career goals. Talking them through with her and hearing what her goals are, helps me gain momentum in achieving my goals. Yes, I discuss these things with my boyfriend, but having a woman's thoughts and support on matters can be very beneficial. I often feel that men and women have completely different ways of supporting each other. If you tell a man what your goal is, he will tell you that you should achieve your goal and that is that. Women tend to support your goal but then ask questions about the specifics behind it and give somewhat of an outline in achieving the goal.

This is why I suggest everyone go out and find their Kate. Or maybe you already have a Kate in your life. Perhaps you have that friend, or handful of friends, to whom you express what's on your mind. If so, consider yourself lucky and be sure to keep in contact with your Kate. If you are anything like myself, you will leave your meet up feeling confident and inspired.