True Grit.

For the past year, I have had this Women's Health magazine article on my refrigerator. You can read the full article here, and I suggest you do. If you don't feel like reading it - Oh, c'mon! - I'll give you the breakdown.

It starts off talking about a woman named Micha Burden - a woman who wasn't a stellar swimmer and was somewhat out of shape - who wanted to compete in and win the U.S. Open Water World Championship. So, she hired a performance consultant (Kenneth Baum), worked her butt off, and as all happy/motivational stories go, she won.

The article discusses the importance of grit when attaining a long-term goal. Some people have it and some people don't. It goes on to cite studies of those who are successful in their fields and those who are not. In one instance they discuss a group of children that they follow into adulthood and see that "... the only difference between the most successful and the least successful of the bunch was that who scored real-world achievement possessed traits such as perseverance." The article then provides a "Grit Scale," used "to rank an individual's level of perseverance," from Angela Duckworth, Ph.D. who developed the scale after a 2002 study.

It then goes on to discuss the cultivation of grit. While some people are born with that mind-set, it is also possible to be developed. Dean Keith Simonton, Ph.D. and Tara Jones, Ph.D. offer some fantastic tips on developing your grit. These tips include:

"You first have to pinpoint a long-term goal that you're willing to work hard to obtain, even if it means overcoming obstacles." (Simonton)
"Performance goals are about the training, putting in all the hours or miles so that you can reach your final goal." (Simonton)
"It's about doing something because you want to... It's critical for persistence." (Jones)

Another key ingredient in grit is optimism.

"You can train yourself to view things in a more optimistic, positive way. It's about challenging your own beliefs." (Jones)
"Recording your successes on a regular basis helps bolster positive thinking." (Jones)

The article itself is a great motivating tool. It has that "YES, I CAN!" feeling and leaves you wanting to set those long-term goals. I'm definitely going to keep their studies and tips in mind while training for my half-marathon on April 15. Do you have any goals? Everyone should, and this article shoes that with a little grit and sweat, anything is possible.

Every man needs a Molly. Every girl needs a Kate.

That's right. I just referenced a Say Anything song in a blog post. That's how hard I rock. This post isn't about Say Anything, however. This post is about having someone who helps you stay on track and realize/achieve your goals. This post is about Kate.

My friend Kate and I try to meet up once a month. I realize how pathetic our goal of meeting up so seldom is, but it's a goal. And it's our goal. During that time we devote hours catching up and discussing our lives. Our topics range from work to our latest Pinterest findings - please, don't hate - and anything in between.

I really appreciate the time I have with Kate because not only is she a fabulous friend, she is also a tremendous mentor. And though I'm sure me telling her this would make her face as red as her hair, I'm drop dead serious.

Kate has been a tremendous outlet for expressing my life and career goals. Talking them through with her and hearing what her goals are, helps me gain momentum in achieving my goals. Yes, I discuss these things with my boyfriend, but having a woman's thoughts and support on matters can be very beneficial. I often feel that men and women have completely different ways of supporting each other. If you tell a man what your goal is, he will tell you that you should achieve your goal and that is that. Women tend to support your goal but then ask questions about the specifics behind it and give somewhat of an outline in achieving the goal.

This is why I suggest everyone go out and find their Kate. Or maybe you already have a Kate in your life. Perhaps you have that friend, or handful of friends, to whom you express what's on your mind. If so, consider yourself lucky and be sure to keep in contact with your Kate. If you are anything like myself, you will leave your meet up feeling confident and inspired.

Monday Motivation: Happy Presidents' Day! Edition

Happy Presidents' Day!
Here's your Monday Motivation.

x

on the road again

If you live in the Chicago area and are currently reading this, do yourself a favor. Go outside and go for a walk. Or 6 mile run.

Yes, I am back and training for my third half marathon. Side note: Does it count as training for your third event? Or would "prepping" be more appropriate? Either way, it is gorgeous outside and anyone with who is able bodied should throw on some sneakers and a jacket and head outside. Plus, we all need to take advantage of these winter days where the sun is out and you won't freeze your tail off by going outside.

More to come. Promise.

My 14 Pieces of 9-5 Advice

During my two years out of college, I have been given many pieces of advice for surviving in the real world (of internships and work). Below you will find a list of the 14 number of pieces that I've held onto and used in my 9-5 life.

When you get dressed in the morning, dress like you're going into a meeting. This could vary depending on your office atmosphere but try to dress up, rather than down, for the office.

Don't give too many details about your personal life. I'm not saying that being the anti-socialite of the office is the way to go but it is often a good idea to keep personal details to yourself. Keep in mind that the details you may divulge to your boss and/or co-workers could have a direct affect on how your work is judged (i.e. a Thursday night out or a medical emergency). If necessary, tell someone in HR and/or your boss about the situation but not your co-workers.

There are two types of people in this world: people who ask and those who are afraid to ask. You may not be one to ask but remember that the worst anyone can do is say "no."

If you have to cry, go outside. My love for Ms. Cutrone aside, she has a very valid point. If you feel that you're going to be blacklisted for a mistake you've made and need to collect yourself, take 10 very deep breaths. If you need to, excuse yourself and go to the ladies' or gents' room.

It's probably not as bad as you think. I cannot tell you how many times I have built up a minor situation at work in my head to be a catastrophe. If you make a mistake in the office, bring it up to the person it directly involves, be honest about what happened and see if there is something you can do to mend the situation.

You do not have to apologize. I typically apologize for any mistake, no matter how small. One day, I was sitting with a boss and apologized for clicking on the wrong folder while she was guiding me to a document. She said, "V, you do not have to apologize." It may sound like a small step in my career, but from that moment, I realized that I don't have to apologize for the small mistakes because everyone makes them. And as for larger mistakes, I quickly apologize then fix the situation. Dwelling on the situation or over-apologizing might often makes things seem worse than they are.

Don't spend more than 15 minutes [of the company's time] trying to find something on your own. Whether it is an old file or something around the office, don't spend more than 15 minutes searching for it before asking for assistance.

When given a new project, ask if there's a project that might be similar to use as a reference. This will often save you the time and headache of starting a project from scratch.

Don't regret it, shred it. Yes, I saw this written on the side of a truck, but the point still stands. If you have documents to toss that could be considered confidential, etc. make sure you shred them. Better to be safe than sorry.

"I don't know" is no longer an acceptable answer. With the world at our fingertips, both inside of the office/home and outside on our smartphones, it is no longer acceptable to answer a question with "I don't know." You may not know the answer at that particular moment, but within seconds you'll be able to give the answer.

Always open and close your emails. Don't be a millennial. Make sure you begin your emails with a greeting and close with your regards to the recipient.

Don't invite your co-workers to your wedding. Unless you want to pay for 40 extra dinners and/or have 38 angry co-workers (because only 2/40 were invited, leave them off the list.

And a couple of work tips for your physical health...

Remember the Rule of 20-20-20 If you have a job that involves spending a heavy amount of time on the computer try to look at something that is at least 20 feet away, every 20 minutes for at least 20 seconds.

Sitting is Killing You Try to get up every hour and walk around, even if it's just to the restroom, the kitchen or the copier. And if you have the time (and the weather permits) try to walk around outside during your lunch break.

Live-Tweeting Weddings: My #Schrambled Experience

Yes, while some of her other close friends were assembling pistachio shell bouquets [see below], @k8_j asked if I would do the honor of live-tweeting her nuptials.

Nearly two years ago, I was acting as the Social Media Intern at Literacy Chicago (LC) while Kate was the Social Media / Marketing Coordinator. Sometime during my three month internship, we caught on to each other's self-motivation, positive attitude and dry sense of humor. After the internship ended, Kate and I kept and touch and occasionally met up for dinner - we now meet up for monthly dates. It was on one of these dates that she asked if I would do the honor of live-tweeting her wedding.

I said yes, of course, and was not too caught off guard, as I knew she'd gotten the idea from a fellow LC alum, @alexklevine and written about live-tweeting weddings and even tweeted another LC alum wedding - @denisekruse. (I guess we LC alumni are trend setters.)

As Skype wasn't an option for viewing Kate and Nick's special day, live-tweeting seemed to be the next best option. We brainstormed hashtags that seemed appropriate for the event. Kate chose #schrambled, a play on Kate's married name from the creative mind of Denise. With the hashtag, viewers could "attend" the wedding through the tweetchat room created for the event.

With Blackberry in hand, my beau and I walked into the event hall. Before the wedding began, I thought about the parts of the wedding I would want to follow if I were unable to attend, somewhat of an outline for my tweets. I was ready to be judged by the elders, but not before my battery would die - halting the chance of any updates. But neither of those things happened. I must say that my date was somewhat displeased, though I had given him fair warning.

All in all the live-tweeting went very well. I could have used a partner-in-crime for the event. I think it would have been nice to have another point of view of the day. However, I'm glad I could help Nick, Kate and their friends and family, enjoy their special day.

Having "The Talk" with Your Children

It is one of those cliché parental fears. Having "the talk" with your children. But there's another talk parents should consider having.

In the age of Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, Myspace and so on, much of what was once considered the intimate details of people's lives is now public. Though many believe that thinking before posting is common sense, some - in most cases, those who are younger - may not understand the consequences that could come in their actions. Let me give you an example.

A friend of mine has a niece who's 16 years old. One night she was out to dinner with her aunt, uncle and boyfriend at a local pub. Her aunt noticed a man in the corner of the pub, alone, who kept staring at her niece. When the group got up to leave, the aunt and uncle stayed back for a moment and watched as the man got up and followed the young couple out of the restaurant. He began to reach for the girl when the aunt startled him with an, "Excuse me, what are you doing?" The man paused and replied that the young girl had forgotten her digital camera (false.) and he wanted to get it to her.

This may have been just a coincidental, isolated incident. However, if you were to look up the young girl's Facebook profile, you'll notice that her privacy settings are low, her profile pictures are somewhat provocative and her status for that evening was something along the lines of "Out for dinner with (boyfriend's name) at (the pub)!"

I'm not suggesting that helicopter parents are in order for all of the pre-teens/teenagers who are online. However, I believe that moving forward from the days of AIM, parents need to be more proactive in "gently reminding" their loved ones - and perhaps even themselves - that the Internet isn't the place to share their most intimate details. They might even remind them that once it is on the Internet, it is there for good.